Saturday saw Irvine welcomed to Glasgow for the second leg of what was quite a tight away fixture. Snow was forecast, and it was pretty chilly, but the pitch was looking good and the game went ahead. A reasonable home crowd was augmented by travelling support the likes of which we don’t often get at Hughenden…
We will set the scene, in this piece the part of WAG must be read in a South African accent for maximum effect:
(Based on a true story, some names may have been changed, no WAG or nice lady came to real harm. Contains mild peril)
3 helpful and lovely HillJills ladies were sat on a bench, layered up to the max, tea in hand, providing snappy banter and welcomes to all those coming to watch. The very reasonable entry rates are advertised on a big white board. Nearing kick off some ladies appeared. These were no ordinary ladies. They flounced round the corner and formed an offensive front, blond hair flapping in a wind tunnel effect, bling-adorned hands blinding us with sun-glare- luckily they were protected with their wrap-around sunglasses- hands very firmly outside their pockets.
The sunglasses were raised to the foreheads. They appeared confused.
Nice Lady: Have you come to watch? Are you students?
WAG: What is this? We do not pay!
Nice Lady: Err…it’s only £2 if you’re a student.
WAG: We do not pay, the club pays for us.
Nice Lady:…what club?
WAG: We are the wives and fiances, the club pays for us. (pays for you to do what…?)
WAG2: We will have to get someone. We do not pay.
WAG: This hasn’t happened before, it’s the first time I’VE had to pay to get in to a rugby game.
The nice ladies stood strong, and they largely paid up, one headstrong WAG fetching an Irvine bufty to pay her £2 entry. It seems it is an entirely different world in Irvine…consider a move boys, they may be near the bottom, but they will buy you a girlfriend.
That brightened my day.
And then to the game, very exciting it was too. An assortment of favourite events: Stuart Ross destroying their No7 in a lineout, Vinnies’s “Boooooom- sit down!” tackle on their porker No 8, the fighting bits- I like the fighting, as long as noone gets properly hurt…
Other notables- I think the front row stood out, they were strong and involved, and mobile in open play. Good bish-bash-bosh running from Vinnie and Dougie, good dynamic rucking from Dougie, lots of good running mauls, and Hazzy was impressive as ever getting the ball moving in the loose, he looks like he was a scrum-half in a former life, and very reliable in the line-out. Also tip-top was Rosey at 8 who stole a few at the lineout and worked hard in the contact. Stuart Ross was back on his tackling form of last season, the kind of tackles that get ooooohs and aaaaahs from the sidelines, making ladies swoon. Some good running from Ally J who looked switched on and keen for the ball. Good lines from RobbieAngelsChingMai who kept the Irvine oldies on the backfoot, and reliable kicking as ever from Gus, and then possibly Michael Martin who came on and showed a bit of spark at the back. On the whole the world disapproves of skinny jeans and pointy shoes, but he makes up for it with good positioning and a bit of creativity.
Thanks go out to the RNIB who kindly supplied a referee for the proeedings.
Lots more happened, an exciting fun-filled afternoon was had. Feel free to comment if you think someone deserves a mention. After having a wee spy at bits of the video Chosen One of the week is…dahdahdah….David Armstrong! He’s always reliable at scrumhalf, gets stuck in and makes things happen, keeping things flowing. I particularly enjoy the wee bouncybouncy thing he does at the back of a ruck deciding which way to go, like an excited little puppy.
C’est ca for this week, next week sees a trip to Ellon where the boys’ll hopefully keep their home-form going. There are unconfirmed reports that Captain Cammy may be back in the fold by next week, will be good to see him back on the pitch.
You should have held stronger and got at least a £5 out of them!!
Haha…we were lucky to get anything out of them. Hilarity. Mwahaha…